Trials & Tribulations of a Single Mom

Her Birthday

2010-06-21T14:15:00.000-03:00

Today is the Birthday of one of the most important women in my life, my grandmother Iris.

My grandmother and I have a relationship which many would envy; she's my bestfriend, my confidante, my tea partner, my neighbor, my go-to person, my shoulder to cry on, laugh on, vent to and snuggle on. She has been through hell and back with me, for me, and before me. She is my daughter's second favorite person (only favorite to my 14 year old cousin who thinks the world of her). She has taught me many many things, and I continue to learn from her on a weekly, daily, hourly, minutely basis. She is my numero uno and I don't think I tell her that often enough.

So Nan, Happy Birthday from the bottom of my heart.

XO

Summer Toes.

2010-06-11T12:44:00.000-03:00

I love little feet. But what I love more, are little feet with Mommy feet. So I share this with you. May our feet soon be burried by warm white sand!

Summer.... Maybe?

2010-06-10T14:58:00.000-03:00

Summer is here. I think. Well, maybe. Mother Nature is considering it. You know one of my favorite parts of when Summer is on the way? Those lovely things up there - in purple and white. I LOVE, Adore even, the smell of Lilacs. I would fill every single room in my house with them if my cat didn't decide he wanted to eat them, rub against them, and eventually, knock over every vase in my place. My daughter loves them too. But what does she love more? Taking them out of the vase and shaking them so the petals go everywhere.

Come on summer. I want more good smelling things!

A change of heart.

2010-03-01T13:24:00.001-04:00

Well well well. Last night, I, among Millions, watched our Canadian Hockey Team take the Gold medal against rivals, USA. What an amazing game.

I was joined in viewing directly by my grandparents, 2 couples (have been close friends of the family for 50+ years) and my Canadian Clad daughter, who was waving her makeshift flag violently!!

I have always been proud of my Nationality, but more so these past 3 weeks. Canada has won the Olympics, both literally and figuratively. We have overcome challenges (no snow in Whistler), battled diversity (language barriers up the ying-yang) and have been victorious.

Now, on to my point. I have never been a "Sid the Kid" fan - until last night. I have been proud to say that he is from Nova Scotia, even HRM (Halifax Regional Mun.), but have never really jumped on the band wagon. What he accomplished last night was incredible. At the age of 22, he has a Stanley Cup ring on his finger and a Canadian Gold Medal around his neck. Not to mention bragging rights to scoring the Gold Medal winning goal.

So, from this point forth, I shall declare myself an official Sidney Crosby fan.

Winter Grace

2010-02-17T11:53:00.000-04:00

When I awoke this morning to the rude "buzz buzz buzz" of my alarm clock, I took a big stretch and rolled over to look out my window to see something which resembled pure beauty. We received about 20 centimeters of snow last night between midnight and 7am. It landed on the trees with such grace - it resembled the perfect winter wonderland. Unfortunatley, I was running late, and instead of snapping a picture, I hopped into the shower. Mind you, the drive to work was a lot less graceful.

Being from Northern New Brunswick, one adapts to snow. It is a way of life. Halifax is something completly different. People here don't know how to drive in snow - it's like we get a city full of new and ignorant drivers with anything over 2cms of snow!

I work for a car dealership, and snow fall here is usually quite a production. With over 150 vehicles on ground, and in three different lots, 4 men moving snow, a plow truck, snovels, snow brushes and a front end loader, I could watch these guys move snow for hours. But at the end of the day, I praise my underground parking! :)

2010-02-11T12:43:00.000-04:00

A cloud of ash covers Lower Manhattan in this photo taken from a helicopter by a New York City police officer during the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center. (Photos by GREG SEMENDINGER / NYC Police Dept.)

This makes me take a deep breath in, and hold in. When I exhale, I shiver.

Bazinga?

2010-02-09T12:37:00.000-04:00

I have not been blogging, and for that I feel a tad bit guilty. It's not that my head isn't swimming with thoughts and ideas - becuase it is. But it's more of a not wanting to sit down and try to organize it. And my personal computer doesn't seem to be cooperating. :(

M is home for the week - which has been great. She came home on Sunday with an ear infection. She is on the mend, but is most snuggly due to not feeling tip-top. And I will graciously admit, that I sneakishly like it when she's not fell. That means that we get to snuggle. M is not a snuggler. Hasn't been since she was born really. Which is a little hard to handel at times, but her sleepy/sickly moments make it worth while.

In response to a few posts ago, I think that the single-parent curse is still in full effect. But you know what? I think I am enjoy this alone time. I may have an opportunity of a life time presenting itself in the very near future, and being single may have been a header for this. I will keep you in the loop should this actually happen - but in the meantime, it will be on the DL.

So.... I think that's enough for now. My mind still hasn't digested a whole lot more yet.

2010-02-02T16:38:00.002-04:00

It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
- Alec Bourne

The Single Parent Curse?

2010-02-01T22:20:00.003-04:00

I have been fortunate as a single mother to be happy being just that, single. Since M's dad and I seperated, I have been in 1 serious relationship. It was good, while it lasted. I seem to have a magnetic force that attracts losers. I have noticed it more and more recently.

I have been attempting the "dating" world for the past 9 or 10 months now, and to be honest, I am loosing faith, and quickly. I have met a few 'men' who have seemed nice. Then, we go on the second date, they realize that I'm not a booty call, and I toss them aside. I have lost all patience when it comes to dating. I just want to skip it.

I miss having someone to spend time with, someone to share my day with. I would love to have someone here to snuggle up on the couch with, someone to have adult conversation with... Someone who is centered, professional, has a career, or a job even!!! If a man is going to come in to my life, he needs to have stability, goals, ambitions. Am I setting the bar too high here?

And when that man does come along... is the dreaded Single Mother Curse going to get in the way? You know, the one that says "Hey! I'm a single mom! That must mean I'm unbalanced, psychotic, codependant and want you to take on my child as if she was your own!! And don't forget - you can never get away now, you're trapped!!". I hate the classification of the Single Mom. We're not all like that. I don't want someone to take on M as their own, to 'complete' my life. I would like to have someone to compliment my life.

Arg. I give up.

Saturday Morning Bliss

2010-01-30T09:49:00.002-04:00

Oh Saturday morning.

This morning I awoke to "Mom", "Mom", "Mom", "Moma", "Moma", "Moma", "Mooooooooooooooooooommm!" It reminded me of the episode of the Family Guy when Stewie is tormenting Lois. And then I started to giggle uncontrollably becuase I realized that M is similar to Stewie in a few ways - minus the kill Lois, blow up the world sense - I hope. :)

Saturday's in my house are usually a mixture of insanity and laughter. M and I really treasure our one on one time together. She asks me for snuggles all day, and makes me pretend coffee! She says that I need the "tender coffee" to keep me awake. What an imagination this little sweetheart has.

While she brings me my 5th cup of tender coffee, I get to sit back and think about this. My apartment is currently filled with the scents of Saturday mornings: coffee, pancakes, syrup, apple juice... The cat is playfully attacking one of M's hair elastics while M creates lord-knows-what in her bedroom. I'm waiting to hear the crash of her dumping out every toy onto the floor. .... there it is.

I love Saturday mornings. The giggles when I attack her with tickles, the squeel when I chase her down with a facecloth to un-stick her chin, the sigh when she climbs up on my lap for a 4 second snuggle. I love being her mother.

2010-01-29T23:42:00.000-04:00

The Purpose.

2010-01-29T23:25:00.000-04:00

To blog, or not to blog. I have asked myself this question on more than one occasion. I came to the realization recently that to blog was my answer.

Why to blog? Well... I think my main reason to decide to venture into the unpathed world of millions, even billions, who choose to express their opinion for the entire world to see, was the theraputic reasonings. A blog can be an emotional outlet for the good, the bad, and the ugly. It can be an escape goat. It can be used as a period of reflection. Or, it can collect random thoughts, quirky nothings, and dust. Here's hoping it won't collect the latter.

So, my purpose? I think that the above was my purpose.

But who am I? Who is this young woman sitting on the other end of the screen? Well.. I am 23. My daughter is 3. I live alone - with my daughter, whom will be referred to as 'M' being with me every other week. I guess I don't completly live alone, just half the time. And we have a cat. Tully, and a fish, Jim. We did have three fish, Jim, Jackie & Nemo, although I have recently had to give Jackie and Nemo the 5 gallon burial. I have a lot of time alone in the evenings when M is here with me, and even more time alone when she is at her fathers. Life has given me some quiet and sometimes lonely moments in the past few months.

I love being a mother. Before I had M I always knew that I would enjoy being a mother. My friends, as a teenager, use to tell me that I was maternal. I guess they were right. When M was born, everything fell into place naturally. I had never held a newborn before my daughter. Had only ever changed a handfull of diapers before her. Had certainly never gotten up for the countless hours in the middle of the night, never cleaned kid puke, and have never cried from a simple smile. She has changed my life, no question.

Being a mother has presented ample learning situations. And not only on the motherhood front. On the single motherhood front as well. M was born a week after her father and I's 1 year anniversary of our relationship. We barely knew one another when we became pregnant. He was my first true relationship, first love. We were together three months when we found out we were expecting. M was three months old when I left him the first time. He and I have been seperated since M was 14 months old. I have always kind of grown up quickly in life, but this was a header.

I am looking forward to randomly blogging to the world my thoughts, opinions, experiences, ideas, random silliness, and inevitable angry frustrations. And if any one reads this, great; if no one does, that's great too. This is for me.