The Purpose.

To blog, or not to blog. I have asked myself this question on more than one occasion. I came to the realization recently that to blog was my answer.

Why to blog? Well... I think my main reason to decide to venture into the unpathed world of millions, even billions, who choose to express their opinion for the entire world to see, was the theraputic reasonings. A blog can be an emotional outlet for the good, the bad, and the ugly. It can be an escape goat. It can be used as a period of reflection. Or, it can collect random thoughts, quirky nothings, and dust. Here's hoping it won't collect the latter.

So, my purpose? I think that the above was my purpose.

But who am I? Who is this young woman sitting on the other end of the screen? Well.. I am 23. My daughter is 3. I live alone - with my daughter, whom will be referred to as 'M' being with me every other week. I guess I don't completly live alone, just half the time. And we have a cat. Tully, and a fish, Jim. We did have three fish, Jim, Jackie & Nemo, although I have recently had to give Jackie and Nemo the 5 gallon burial. I have a lot of time alone in the evenings when M is here with me, and even more time alone when she is at her fathers. Life has given me some quiet and sometimes lonely moments in the past few months.

I love being a mother. Before I had M I always knew that I would enjoy being a mother. My friends, as a teenager, use to tell me that I was maternal. I guess they were right. When M was born, everything fell into place naturally. I had never held a newborn before my daughter. Had only ever changed a handfull of diapers before her. Had certainly never gotten up for the countless hours in the middle of the night, never cleaned kid puke, and have never cried from a simple smile. She has changed my life, no question.

Being a mother has presented ample learning situations. And not only on the motherhood front. On the single motherhood front as well. M was born a week after her father and I's 1 year anniversary of our relationship. We barely knew one another when we became pregnant. He was my first true relationship, first love. We were together three months when we found out we were expecting. M was three months old when I left him the first time. He and I have been seperated since M was 14 months old. I have always kind of grown up quickly in life, but this was a header.

I am looking forward to randomly blogging to the world my thoughts, opinions, experiences, ideas, random silliness, and inevitable angry frustrations. And if any one reads this, great; if no one does, that's great too. This is for me.